Over the past two years (since I've written on this thing), I have discovered more about myself and what I want to do career wise. I was lucky enough to receive an opportunity to work as a PTA at an outpatient clinic towards the end of 2015. This was my first job as a PTA and I was supper excited to apply my clinical skills and learn some new ones as well. As my training started I was learning the environment of the clinic, documentation skills, insurance rules and so much more. I met my co-workers and started working in collaboration with them. Everything was going great. But, as any job has, I started noticing things that I did not agree with. This clinic focused on the money side of things and not as much on patient care. That is not why I went into therapy. I want to give people care but due to this clinic's "values" that seemed not to be as big of a value and the focus was on money/reimbursement. I was conflicted on if I wanted to work at this clinic. I would come home crying so frustrated that I was not being the best therapist I could be due to this clinic not allowing me to be. Even though this was the case, I stuck with this job for a year and a half. Don't get me wrong; I loved my co-workers, the patients and I learned so much but I hated the management and the total goal of what this clinic had in mind. I would come home frustrated, exhausted and mentally drained and I did not like living that way. I kept thinking this is not how this is supposed to be. I tried changing things/policies at work to try and fix the feelings I was having. Nothing seemed to work. I would have ups and downs and got to the point where I didn't care. That is horrible to not care when I work in field whose soul purpose is to care.
While all this was going on, I had a goal. Since I visited my aunt and uncle in Hawaii, I had wanted to live there. The environment, the food, the mixture of cultures, and the energy of the island pulled me in and I wanted to stay. For so long, this has been a dream of mine and I longed for it. I'm happy to say now, it's becoming my reality. I will be moving to Hawaii next month. My husband and I have both found jobs and we are so excited. We both prayed about it, discussed it, and prayed some more and finally decided to take the plunge and go for it. Now I feel excited, anxious, stressed and have a little second guessing going on. This is something that I've wanted for a long time and now that it's finally happening, it's almost like my mind can't believe it or has to talk its way out of it. Even though all these feelings and emotions are there, I'm still very excited to see what the island holds for me. I hope that my new jobs have a different outlook than my last one. I hope I learn just as much but work in a positive environment and that I actually enjoy going to work. May new bosses seem like wonderful people and have been very helpful. This is a good sign to me and I am looking forward to this new career and living adventure.