Wednesday, December 20, 2017

What is your's to carry?

I found this quote today.

"I wonder how much of what weighs me down is not mine to carry"

A lot has been happening in our "society" as of lately. Bickering, arguing, discussions, bills being passed or not passed, etc. I have to be a good citizen and try (as much as I may hate it) to watch the news and see what is going on. What's currently being decided and how it's being handled makes me think that people choose or react to things to get on a "power trip" Manipulation, greed and selfishness is all part of it. There is no thought of other people, the environment or the future. Just...what can I get RIGHT NOW?

I admit, I am not the perfect citizen. I did not vote in this last election and honestly, I don't think I've ever voted. I do not stay informed and I focus on myself and my family. Sounds like I'm being a hypocrite from what I just said earlier in the above paragraph. My justification for that is, I choose how I react to people and events that will benefit me and my family. I contribute to whatever charity I can (whether public or giving a friend a gift they cannot afford). I am a positive person (for the most part) and I expel my energy on people everyday hoping it makes a difference. I live by the golden rule: Treat others the way you want to be treated. I try my best not to judge and I'm kind. My profession makes people physically, mentally and emotionally better which I feel contributes more so than many other things.

I get very frustrated and emotional at how people treat other people and what goes on in the news. Even now, writing this post, I'm getting emotional. So, going back to the quote up above, what is not mine to carry? What is not your's to carry? I think we should all think about this when we choose to make a decision and react to certain things. I feel that if I'm a good person, I try hard everyday and I put out good energy for everyone, that good energy will makes it's way around and will eventually come back to me. I just wish others would do this too. What is your's to carry?

Sunday, October 15, 2017

Get back

We have been living in Kauai for three months now. It seems longer and shorter at the same time. Adjustments have been made, situations have occurred, and we are now getting into our new "normal". That seems to be taking extra time though. It seems that once you finally get used to a schedule, routine, or what a day entails for you, then it changes and you have to adapt all over again. Oh least I'm not bored.

This past week was a busy one. I'm not really sure why but it was. Work kept me away for awhile while my husband got to spend each day with friends or doing what he wants to do. (he is off for fall break). Friday neither of us had to work and we decided to go paddle boarding. It was so much fun and I love being with him. We then got some ice cream, sat on a bench and watched it rain. Something so simple that means so much.

I think we tend to get caught up with work, school, daily household tasks, friends, etc and that's fine. That stuff does need attention. But we also need to take time to enjoy where we are at. One of the reasons we moved to Hawaii was all the activities that are available to do outdoors. If we can't enjoy those things, then we are not enjoying one of the reasons we moved to this wonderful island. We all need to remember to "get back" to the things that make us happy and enjoy where we are. Even if it's just sitting on a bench and watching the rain.

Friday, June 16, 2017


Over the past two years (since I've written on this thing), I have discovered more about myself and what I want to do career wise. I was lucky enough to receive an opportunity to work as a PTA at an outpatient clinic towards the end of 2015. This was my first job as a PTA and I was supper excited to apply my clinical skills and learn some new ones as well. As my training started I was learning the environment of the clinic, documentation skills, insurance rules and so much more. I met my co-workers and started working in collaboration with them. Everything was going great. But, as any job has, I started noticing things that I did not agree with. This clinic focused on the money side of things and not as much on patient care. That is not why I went into therapy. I want to give people care but due to this clinic's "values" that seemed not to be as big of a value and the focus was on money/reimbursement. I was conflicted on if I wanted to work at this clinic. I would come home crying so frustrated that I was not being the best therapist I could be due to this clinic not allowing me to be. Even though this was the case, I stuck with this job for a year and a half. Don't get me wrong; I loved my co-workers, the patients and I learned so much but I hated the management and the total goal of what this clinic had in mind. I would come home frustrated, exhausted and mentally drained and I did not like living that way. I kept thinking this is not how this is supposed to be. I tried changing things/policies at work to try and fix the feelings I was having. Nothing seemed to work. I would have ups and downs and got to the point where I didn't care. That is horrible to not care when I work in field whose soul purpose is to care.

While all this was going on, I had a goal. Since I visited my aunt and uncle in Hawaii, I had wanted to live there. The environment, the food, the mixture of cultures, and the energy of the island pulled me in and I wanted to stay. For so long, this has been a dream of mine and I longed for it. I'm happy to say now, it's becoming my reality. I will be moving to Hawaii next month. My husband and I have both found jobs and we are so excited. We both prayed about it, discussed it, and prayed some more and finally decided to take the plunge and go for it. Now I feel excited, anxious, stressed and have a little second guessing going on. This is something that I've wanted for a long time and now that it's finally happening, it's almost like my mind can't believe it or has to talk its way out of it. Even though all these feelings and emotions are there, I'm still very excited to see what the island holds for me. I hope that my new jobs have a different outlook than my last one. I hope I learn just as much but work in a positive environment and that I actually enjoy going to work. May new bosses seem like wonderful people and have been very helpful. This is a good sign to me and I am looking forward to this new career and living adventure.