Bob

I'm sitting here trying to think of how to start this since it's been so long and I cannot find the words. Life has been moving and continues to move. Currently I'm dealing with a patient who is dying. He has cancer in his hip and spinal fluid and there isn't much that can be done. I've worked with this patient before for a hip replacement and have built a relationship with him. For the past two weeks, I have been working with him and every day, have seen him decline. He is having difficulty swallowing, speaking, communicating and overall functioning. This afternoon I spent an hour with him after work. I got to hold his hand, talk to him and got him to take a drink of water and lie down. His wife says we have a special connection because I can get him to do things that others can't. It's nice to know I can comfort him in ways others cannot. He is so tired and is fighting so hard; I can feel it in his energy. I talked with his wife and kids and we all shared stories and concerns but it never feels like it's enough. In situations like those, I feel that we all want to say or do something to make the pain, sadness, uncomfortablness or whatever the feeling is to go away. Unfortunately, that just takes time. Tears were shed and hugs were given. I told him that it was okay to relax and rest. I want him to relax and let go. He's fighting so hard and I know he is tired.

On my way home, across the sky was a bright rainbow. I'm taking it as a sign from the universe that as hard as it is, it will be okay. And he will be okay.