Saturday, September 20, 2014

I have always been aware of my surroundings. I feel connected to many things: people, nature, animals, etc. There are times where I have strong feelings about a person and I know how they are feeling even if they are far away or I haven't talked to them. I can feel energies around me. Good and bad. I always knew this but I don't always open up to it. I'm trying to change that. 

Some of my family members are more in-tune with themselves and their gifts. My aunt is very aware of herself and the people around her. She explained to me that what I have is called Clairsentient. This is the process of feeling energies or emotions from people. There are certain times where I feel an energy or feelings from people but I don't see the person. There have been a number of times that I have felt someone in our apartment. I have never seen a "ghost" but I know someone is there. I can tell if it is a good or bad vibe and I can also tell if it is a man or a woman. Sometimes, I have felt a lingering blackness. There was no gender, just blackness. I have also woken up in the middle of the night and could feel that my cousin was upset or worried about something. I had no idea why but I just knew something was not right. There are other times when I get so overwhelmed and don't even want to be around people. I'm not a fan of big crowds and find myself to get overwhelmed easily in those situations. I can feel people's energies and it wears me out. 

Knowing that I have this gift makes me more aware. I am trying to open myself up to these experiences and see what happens. This is something that I cannot ignore. I have a connection for a reason and I will try to keep myself open to whatever possibilities come my way. 

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Ride the Waves

It's been awhile...

I've never been good at blog posts. Half the time I'm not really sure what to write about and the other half I am just not consistent about it. I feel like I should try and write down my feelings more or keep a journal about my life. Not necessarily for anyone to read but more for myself.

The start of this school year has been a busy one. The start of August entailed me getting married, going on our honeymoon and the day after we came back, school started. My husband is a teacher and is in full swing of things. He leaves early in the morning and most of the time, I don't see him until after supper. He is trying to make sure everything is going just right and I'm supporting him the best I can. I hope he has a good first year and things will get easier for him. I'm in my last year of school and just trying to stay focused. That's hard to do when you are burnt out. I feel like I've been burnt out of school for awhile. The problem is though, I'm burnt out about work too. I feel like I should be excited about getting a job but right now I'm not. I wish we could just be done with school and then that is that. Maybe I'll change my mind next semester. We start our last round of clinical rotations then and I'm sure that will get my mind ready for the "job world".

The truth is, I'm not very good at transitions. I never have been. It's always been hard going from one thing to another. Moving on or up in the world to something scarier but maybe even better than before. That first step is always the hardest. After the initial first step, I usually can role with the punches. The idea of change is always unsettling to people and I've never really understood why. We can't escape it and just have to accept it. That's part of life and we have to learn to ride the waves when they come.